Why Pain?

from Able Leader, January 2006

by Steve Kaye

If you had a choice, would you choose pain or pleasure?

Of course, you would choose pleasure. Everyone would, right?

Then why do so many people choose pain?

Why do they choose failure over success, ignorance over knowledge, problems over solutions, and so on?

There are three reasons why people choose pain.

Let's work through them using the pain of a bad meeting as an example.

Reason #1: They're unaware.

They think pain is normal. For example, they have never been to a meeting conducted with an agenda.

Reason #2: They're lost.

They know that a better way exists; they just don't know how to find it. For example, they know that an agenda would help them conduct a more effective meeting, and they have no idea how to prepare one.

Reason #3: They're dangerous.

They do not do what they know is the right thing to do. For example, they hold meetings without an agenda, even though they know a) an agenda is essential and b) how to prepare one.

Years ago, I conducted a workshop for a group of managers and vice presidents. At the end of the workshop, one of the VPs announced, "You didn't show me anything that I didn't already know."

My heart sank, until another VP told the first VP, "Yeah, but you don't use any of it."

Suppose you were the owner of a company and you discovered that one of your VPs knew how to hold effective meetings and yet chose not to do so. What would you do?

If it were my business, I'd fire the VP.

I realize that this must seem harsh, but that VP would be gone . . . unless the VP had been led to believe there was a greater reward in holding bad meetings than in holding good ones.

In that case, I would have a major leadership problem in my business.

Why?

Because it means I had created a culture that encourages bad behavior.

This gives us a deeper understanding of Reason #3 for choosing pain: there exists a reward that makes the pain tolerable.

Let's apply this point to our example of bad meetings.

First, recognize that an effective meeting ends with a result that someone must implement. That requires effort, skill, and work.

Bad meetings, however, provide a reward for those who are unable (or unwilling) to perform difficult tasks. If there are no results, then there is no work. And if there is no work, then there is no performance to measure. And so people can use bad meetings to avoid being held accountable for completing difficult tasks.

Admittedly, the effect of an organization's culture on individual choices can be very complex. For example, people make bad decisions for many reasons, such as:

1) They misunderstand expectations or rules. (This can be corrected by effective communication and a positive example set by top leaders.)

2) They believe the value of their result justifies bad (and even illegal) behavior. (This can require major changes in organizational culture, including clarification of ethical expectations.)

3) They hope to get away with bad decisions. (This also requires clarification of ethical expectations.)

So what's next?

I urge you to take a candid look at your business.

Are people tolerating pain? And if so, why?

More specifically, do they know what good performance is? Do they know how to achieve it? And most importantly, are they rewarded for making choices that advance your business?

By the way, I wrote this article to dramatize that my workshops show three sides of every issue, which are 1) What is effective performance, 2) How to achieve it, and 3) Why it's important.

Much success,

Steve Kaye
714-528-1300