The Missing Step

from Able Leader, April 2006

by Steve Kaye

Let's start with a story.

This month I received an e-mail that asked for a proposal to facilitate a strategic planning meeting.

I responded with a phone call, received no answer, and left a message.

The next day I called again, received no answer, and left a second message.

Then I sent an e-mail stating that we need to talk before I can prepare a proposal.

The return e-mail told me to just send a proposal.

I wrote back that I prepare proposals only after talking to the client.

Admittedly, this is a simple story about a deal that failed because of a missing step.

That missing step was a conversation.

If you want a facilitator to help you with a meeting, you must talk to the person.

Why?

First, to find out if you have the right person. There are many types of meetings, many reasons for holding them, and many types of facilitators.

So, both of you should work through your first conversation to determine if you have found someone who can help you obtain the result that you want.

For example, I will accept a project only when I know that I can add value to the meeting. Otherwise, I refer the project to someone else.

Second, to determine the real issue behind the meeting.

For example, this week I received an e-mail (different client) asking if I would facilitate a planning meeting. I phoned and talked with the client for 40 minutes. I realize this is a long time, and yet during this conversation I learned about the goals for the meeting, the reasons for holding the meeting, and the company.

Then I phoned one of the owners, and we talked for over 30 minutes. During this conversation I learned about additional goals for the meeting and additional (critically important) issues related to the meeting.

In some areas the two conversations overlapped, and in other areas they did not.

And it was near the end of this second conversation that I began to formulate a strategy for facilitating the meeting.

Now I knew enough to develop a plan for delivering what they want and to prepare a proposal.

And good news, this client decided to proceed with my facilitation.

Most important meetings involve complex issues, hidden agendas, and cultural subtleties. Researching these things is an essential part of planning for the meeting.

Key Point 1: You must talk to people when planning a meeting.

This includes the facilitator if you plan to use one. It also includes anyone who might have a major interest in the outcome, such as enthusiastic supporters or outspoken opponents. Otherwise, you risk hosting a disaster that wastes everyone's time.

Key Point 2: Beware of anyone who skips this step.

Anyone who agrees to work with you based on superficial (or incomplete) information is going to waste your time. You may go through the motions of holding a meeting but it's unlikely that you will work on the most important issues because these haven't been identified.

Key Point 3: E-mail is useful only for conveying basic information.

E-mail can start a conversation, and that's all. When the topic really matters, you must talk about it. Conversation is powerful because it helps you uncover unexpected information. Often, such details tell you (or the facilitator) how to take the meeting to a successful conclusion.

Key Point 4: Ignoring phone messages is rude.

In fact, it hurts both of you.

It wastes the other person's time because the caller has to phone again. And the caller has to put everything on hold while waiting for answers. It also creates stress for you because each incomplete task becomes another bit of unfinished business. Too many of these will clog your thinking and create a sense of being overwhelmed.

Key Point 5: You need to talk.

Agreements and understanding are achieved through conversation. This especially applies any time the issue is complex or controversial.

Much success,

Steve Kaye
714-528-1300