Best Ideas for 2007

from Able Leader, December 2007

by Steve Kaye

Here are the ideas that will go into my annual report for 2007.

1) Every argument is destined to produce failure for both parties. The reason is that you can only win by proving the other person to be wrong. Winning is thus based on using superior logic, bigger consequences, or overwhelming emotion. To make matters worse, some people attempt to win arguments by hurting the other person until that person gives up. In any case, the winner gains a victory wrapped in resentment, which almost always causes a loss later.

Better: Differences are opportunities to become closer. Ask questions, let the other person talk, and agree with how the other person feels.

2) Your influence is limited by the consequences that you can apply. If you are unable to give something valuable or remove something important, then you will have no influence.

Better: Recognize that everyone has power. Generally, "big" people have power over things that happen quickly while "small" people have power over things that happen slowly. Know what your power is before entering a negotiation in terms that will influence the other person.

3) The best creativity occurs when you take your mind to a zero state. This requires complete detachment from expectations, evaluations, and judgment. To do this you must forget everything in your past and ignore any anticipation of the future. You must go to the childlike state of pure play where nothing matters except the joy of being in the moment of where you are.

To Do: Set aside time for pure thinking. Give yourself permission to be wrong. For more ideas on this, read the News below.

4) If you let fear and anger play in your mind, you will make mistakes. These two villains will either distract you from being your best or they will cause you to make bad decisions. This is especially important today because mind manipulators are more prevalent than ever, driving the public into either a numb state of reduced performance or acceptance of their agenda.

Better: Management of what occurs in your mind is your highest priority. Take the time to understand the purpose behind every message. For example, sensational news broadcasts are not designed to inform; they are designed to trap you into watching commercials.

5) Successful people (achievers) talk themselves into doing those things that lead to success. They find positive reasons to take risks, endure discomfort, and do the work. And then they proceed because they are moving toward something that they want. In contrast, other people talk themselves into staying the same. Then they invent excuses to hide what they wanted to avoid.

Better: Pay attention to the dialogue that occurs in your mind. Are you talking your way into striving for your dreams or are you inventing excuses? Are you moving toward something that you want or away from something that you don't want?

6) A relationship is really a conversation. When the conversation ends, so does the relationship.

To Do: Invest in conversation. Spend time talking to the people who matter. And this means that you will use at least half of the conversation for listening.

7) Setting a goal for collecting ideas is the key to finding them. (Like anything else, you will find what you think about.) Since ideas are the key to effective leadership, leaders need to make wisdom a daily priority. In fact, great leaders are known for their thinking more than their doing.

To Do: Set a personal goal of finding and documenting at least one business (or life) lesson by the end of each day.

Much success,

Steve Kaye
714-528-1300