How to Have More

from Able Leader, September 2008

by Steve Kaye

Everyone wants more.

More power, more influence, more stuff.

But the key to having more is seeking less.

Here's how.

1) More Power

Some people seek absolute power. For example, they attempt to control every aspect of a meeting. They keep the goal (and agenda) a secret because that gives them control over having a declared success. (Without a goal, any result can be defined as a success.) They also dominate the discussion to prevent other people's ideas from leading to an unexpected result. Or, they create a hostile environment with criticism, insults, anger, and the like. (Hostility makes people cautious and thus reluctant to voice creative, candid ideas.)

What happens: They reduce the participants to being an audience for their personal show. And this wastes everyone's time because, at best, they end up with the ideas that they had before the meeting started.

Fact: Every leadership success comes from shared power.

Better: Certainly, prepare a goal and an agenda. And then release control of the results to the participants. Use a consensus-driven fair process that includes contributions from everyone. Trust that intelligent people will always choose the best options over poor options.

2) More Influence

Some people misunderstand presentations. For example, they try to impress others by telling more about themselves. Often they open by announcing that they are glad to be there. Or they describe their credentials. Or they tell their personal story. Then they attempt to influence the audience with an abundance of information. So, they cram words, numbers, and facts on their slides. And then, just to make sure everyone appreciates all of this, they read it.

What happens: They bore the audience. Or, they insult them. You can tell that the presentation is failing because everyone's face appears blank. They are waiting for it to end. If they seem to be taking notes, they are actually writing letters, lists of things to do, or doodling.

Fact: The audience cares about themselves, and not you, the speaker.

Better: Design a presentation that focuses less on you and more on them. In fact, your goal should be to leave the audience feeling impressed with themselves. Talk to them about them. Show how your ideas apply to them and to their success. Speak to them in terms that they understand. Be logical, be clear, be brief. In general, give the type of presentation that you would find useful if you were the audience.

3) More Stuff.

Some people make having more a business (or a life) priority. They seek more size, more quantity, more speed, more features, more buttons, more colors, more style, and more more. They buy the newest, largest, fastest everything. They attempt to out perform their competitors, their neighbors, and themselves.

What happens: They are never satisfied because the masters of product disruption have designed an endless flow of goods that are always more than the previous version. Or, as they say at the club, "You could have bought a bigger yacht." Actually, seeking more stuff, results in having less money, less time, and less joy.

Fact: Happiness is not dependent upon having more stuff.

Better: Seek ways to enjoy less. For example, in business skip a generation (or two) when planning equipment purchases. Unless there is a significant technical advantage, this year's gadget will perform very well for at least another year. And here are possible ways to apply this in your personal life: a) instead of flying to another country for a vacation, visit a nearby National Park, b) instead of driving for an hour to an upscale trendy restaurant, go to a local family run restaurant, c) instead of spending money on an expensive gift, consider spending time on the relationship. And so on. In general, be creative in obtaining the things that really matter.

Much success,

Steve Kaye
714-528-1300