Manage Your Mind

from Able Leader, March 2009

by Steve Kaye

We are in a time of uncertainty that is painful and frightening. Even if your business is booming, you know people who are struggling.

So, how do you survive? In fact, how do you thrive? Because it’s possible to rise above chaos.

Here’s how to manage your mind:

1) Be Positive

Do: Use positive words. Remove the word “not” from your vocabulary. Find the most neutral, simple, and positive expression for everything. (Often this is a statement of facts without interpretation, judgment, or evaluation.) Avoid all expressions of hostility, such as curses, name calling, cynicism, and the like.

Do: Seek out positive inputs. Similarly, avoid complainers, violent TV, and hysterical news.

Why: Negative words and thoughts reduce your effectiveness. They scare you, discourage you, and insult you.

Why: You hear what you say. And then you believe it.

Why: Your thoughts stay in your mind. And they create the beliefs, assumptions, and possibilities that define your world.

Why: You hear your insults as if they were directed toward yourself.

Why: Your outlook will attract (and often cause) exactly what you express. Thus, negative words lead to negative results.

2) Be Busy

Do: In a job or a business, strive for the highest value contributions. Meet with clients (internal and external) to learn how you can improve your service, meet their needs, and add value to their work.

Do: In a job search, start every day as if you were reporting to work (on time, clean, and properly dressed). Recognize that finding a job is a full-time job. Thus, set goals and make plans for each day. Critique and improve your performance daily.

Do: During a job search, find work doing anything. This can include volunteer work, a minimum wage job, or work outside your expertise.

Why: Your sense of self, your enthusiasm, and your future all depend upon achievement. Thus, you must put some accomplishment into every day.

Why: Your current job, or the one you left, may not exist in the future. Thus, you may need to build something new.

Why: Achievement provides a sense of purpose. This fuels courage, enthusiasm, and persistence. If, on the other hand, you let yourself drift, your emotional well-being will sink.

3) Be Helpful

Do: Find ways to help others, especially in the ways that you want to be helped. For example, help others find a job (your outreach efforts also introduce you to potential employers), refer business (your assistance identifies you as a resource worth remembering), post recommendations on social media sites (your praise earns gratitude and praise in return).

Why: Being helpful gives you a sense of connection and purpose.

Why: Strategic giving is always a wise investment.

4) Be Kind

Do: Be courteous, diplomatic, and respectful of others. Offer praise. Make kindness a major priority in all of your relationships.

Do: Recognize that others may be cranky (i.e., they may be in more trouble than you are). Cranky behavior is a manifestation of pain and fear. So, view other people’s anger as a sickness, sort of like a cough. Realize that they wouldn’t cough if they were able to stop and that their coughing is their problem and not a reflection on you.

Why: Goodness attracts goodness. In a time of stress, you need all of the kindness that you can gather. Hostility, on the other hand, causes more hostility, which damages everyone.

5) Be Connected

Do: Attend professional society meetings, club meetings, networking meetings, and so on. Phone friends, colleagues, and relatives to stay in touch and (mostly) ask how you can help them. Meet with colleagues and clients for coffee or lunch. (And let them buy if it makes sense to do so.)

Do: Engage in positive conversations with others. Thus, avoid complaints or blame because these repel others.

Why: You need the connection and support of others to feel like a human being. This also provides ideas, inspiration, and accountability.

Why: Success is a group activity. No one accomplishes anything alone.

Why: People help those whom they know. Thus, it’s essential that you become known by those who can help you.

6) Be Consistent (Bonus Idea)

Do: Use these ideas all of the time.

Why: They are the foundation for personal effectiveness.

Much success,

Steve Kaye
714-528-1300