Your Inner Size

from Able Leader, May 2009

by Steve Kaye

There are two types of people in the world: Large people and Small people.

I'm not referring to physical size. And I'm not referring to wealth, power, or position. I'm referring to one's inner sense of self.

We all have some degree of small and large in us. Our success as a leader (and a person) depends upon which one dominates our choices.

Here's how they're different.

Large People

1) Large people associate with large people.

They do this because they seek inspiration through other's achievements. They know that if someone else can do something, then they can to do it, too.

They learn from large people because these are the achievers. And so, large people always seek ideas that will make them more successful. They read, they attend seminars. In fact, exceptionally large people act like humble students, seeking knowledge from everyone.

Action: Seek out people who are larger than you are. Then be courageous enough to learn from them.

2) Large people know themselves.

They hold candid conversations with themselves. Most of them work with coaches to probe, explore, and build their inner self.

They also pay attention to themselves. They analyze their choices and the consequences that follow from them. Then they make adjustments as appropriate.

Action: Devote time to knowing yourself. Write in a journal. Keep logs of how you spend time, what you think about, and how you feel. Use these to probe deep into your inner self. Be ruthlessly candid in determining why you make the choices that you do.

3) Large people are courageous.

They tell the truth, both to others and to themselves. They take risks by creating a vision and then setting goals. They work hard, preferring the pain of disciplined effort over the pain of being poor.

They accept responsibility for everything that they do.

Action: Expand your courage by taking safe steps that lead to larger ones. Orchestrate success by giving yourself challenges that you know you can accomplish. Then build upon that success into more courageous acts.

4) Large people are generous.

They work from a view of abundance. Thus, large people make others larger. They lift others with praise, encouragement, and positive expectations. They express confidence. They include others in their success.

The best large people strive to make others larger than themselves. They know that the more success they cause, the more success will come back to make them larger.

Action: Give first, because you know there is enough for everyone. Give without expectations for any reward.

Small People

As you might expect, small people are the opposite of large people.

1) Small people seek out small people, such as complainers and low performers.

2) Small people hide in the illusions of blame, denial, and procrastination.

3) Small people make others small. They degrade others with criticism and satire. They disable activities by misbehaving. They cripple egos with ridicule.

4) Small people live in a world of scarcity.

Action: Every aspect of being small is driven by fear. And fear is terrible because it attracts (often causes) the very thing that it is afraid of. For example, small people do things that make themselves smaller, which causes them to feel more afraid.

Since all of us have fears, we can all benefit from eliminating them.

Begin by finding the fears within you, and then peal them away, layer by layer. This can be helped by acting large because doing good things leads to rewards that eliminate the reasons for feeling afraid. Sometimes becoming larger requires the help of a coach or counselor.

Final Thought

Each of us has an awesome potential within us that exceeds anything that we could imagine. I wish you the best as you find and realize this potential by living large.

Much success,

Steve Kaye
714-528-1300