Almost a Tragedy

from Able Leader, March 2010

by Steve Kaye

His truck was at least a block away.

So I figured that I had enough space to make a left turn.

But surprisingly, he seemed to accelerate towards me as I was turning. Then he sped past me, missing my car by inches.

There are some important lessons here.

1) I'm lucky.

He might have slammed into my car. Since he was diving at a high speed, I would have been seriously hurt. Fortunately, he missed.

So, I have resolved to be more careful.

2) I made a critical mistake.

I assumed that he would react the way that I would. If someone were to turn into my lane, I'd slow down or change lanes. I'd never accelerate towards a car that had moved in front of me.

By acting on this assumption, I gave him control over my safety.

This is a critical point to ponder.

While taking risks is part of living (or running a business), some risks can lead to terrible consequences.

This can happen if we assume people will think and act the same way we do. Of course, knowing how people are different can help, unless they're strangers, such as the man in the truck.

So, consider: Are you taking risks based on sound assumptions? What would you do if others reacted based on different values? Have you made assumptions that put your safety in someone else's control?

3) He's lucky.

If I hadn't seen him speeding toward me, I might have crashed into his truck. Fortunately, I was able to make a "panic" adjustment. Otherwise, he might have been hurt in an accident.

4) He made a critical mistake.

He assumed that I would ignore the near miss, which I did. When he stopped at the light a block later, I simply rolled to a stop behind him.

It could have been otherwise.

For example, if I were a police officer (off duty in the family car), he would have been arrested. If I were a violent crackpot having a bad day he could have been seriously hurt.

So, he put his safety in my control.

This incident has larger implications that relate to everyone's business.

I hear occasional complaints about office bullies who harass colleagues. I've even heard people brag about how they make fun of others during meetings. And I had the misfortune of working with a few especially toxic people while I was an employee.

In such cases (whether on the road or in the office) the "bully" is assuming that their target will behave with more maturity and more decency than they are demonstrating.

All forms of bullying are bad, whether delivered forcefully or passively, because they create an accumulating resentment. If the target reaches a tipping point, the manifestation of pent up anger can be terrible. Then we read about it in the news.

In addition, any hostile behavior directed toward one person in an office is felt by all. Thus, bullying degrades productivity across the entire organization.

This is a critical point to ponder.

So, consider: Is anyone in your office acting like a bully? Does anyone ridicule others? Do you have angry screamers, door slammers, or offensive talkers?

If so, as a leader, it is your job to stop this behavior. I encourage you to consult with your HR staff on how to proceed.

5) We have work to do.

We all have the responsibility of being the most mature person in every situation. This begins by treating others with respect because disrespect always leads to problems. Then we must manage ourselves properly when others behave poorly.

Otherwise, we risk a tragedy.

Much success,

Steve Kaye
714-528-1300